Undue Stress

Social Drinking

It's difficult to be a good drinker without attracting undue, negative attention.  Yes, some people need an intervention or to drink less, but negativity is not the answer.

So next time someone criticizes you for your drinking, take a moment to size yourself up. 

 If you hate yourself, then you should probably drink less.  Alcohol is a depressant.  

If you're happy and hurting no one else, then politely tell your accuser that they suck and are killing your buzz. 

If you're flying on a dragon above a crystal canyon, then you have passed out. 

Either way,  alcohol is a catch-22.  It should be an aspiration to master the happy medium between social drinker and alcoholic, not to be privy to the whims of high-horses and soap boxes. 

Three Olives Vodka

Three Olives Vodka is friggin' tasty.  It comes in 22 flavors, but the vodka itself (pictured center) is incredibly smooth and tasty.  Yes, it is only 80 proof.  That probably lends to its lack of "vodka bite", but to a person drinking hundred proof Tvarscki on the regular, its a vacation for the tongue. 

The flavor to get out of all of the flavors is called Loopy.  It taste exacly like Fruit Loops.  You don't need a chaser and it's perfect for shots among all drinking types. 

I wouldn't reccomend the Dude flavor (lemon-lime). 

 First off, the name suggests that it taste like a dude. 

Second, it tastes like dehydrated Mountain Dew with the same consistency.  Then the vodka hits.  I believe it got it's name from the disapproving "Dude?" you will receive from your friends in their disgust.

These bottles cost 20 dollars each at your local liquor store.
 

Captain Morgan Parrot Bay

Getting a leg up in the drinking world is the Captain Morgan Parrot Bay collection of flavored rum.  While the pictured flavor is passion fruit, there is also: coconut, mango, pineapple, key lime, strawberry, lime and orange. 

This is an excellent drink to do shots  or as a  mix with juice.  A drink like rum and coke mixes alcohol and high fructose corn syrup.  The liver can't handle prolonged doses of this mix and can result in fatty liver disease. 

However, the sugars in juice are easier to process and this passion fruit rum mixed with orange juice was noticeably easier on the body.  Granted, at 21 percent alcohol this drink doesn't pack much of a punch (unless it's in punch), but this is a solid drink for a social mixer or entertaining people who can't handle the harder stuff.

Side Pocket

  All you wine tasters and liquor connoisseurs need to float on.  This is for seriously...economic drinkers. 

 

 

 

The Side Pocket is a high-gravity malt liquor that kicks harder than a steel-toed lumberjack.  This 40oz sits at 10.5 percent alcohol and taste like fermented pond water.  At under $2, this is the hard times choice for a solid drunk.  One will make you pretty tipsy.  Two will black you out.  If your having a steaks and forties party, this is the best choice of refreshment (if there's no account for taste).
Serve it cold.  Really cold.  Ever had warm beer?  Try this warm and you will hate yourself.

Note:  If someone asks you why you drink, then ask them why they breathe.  Sustenance, fool.